First off, I want to state that I am not a religious person. I guess you can say I am a non practicing Catholic. I actually converted several years ago after growing up United. Why did I convert? I am not even sure anymore. But that is all for another post in the future!
Continuing on the theme of friendship from the previous post, I want to share what an old high school friend shared with me a few years ago.
God sends you people when you need them. Sorta how Mary Poppins appeared at the Bank's residence and left when her task was complete. I am choosing to believe this. Each of the friendships I have come by came when I was low, or confused, or plain miserable.
When we first moved here, it was a drastic change. Coming from a city of 700,000 people, to one with maybe 15,000.... a city with all the amenities and shopping, to one with shit all.... a city with every restaurant you can think of, to one that has one chain restaurant not including the mandatory McDonald's. It just sucked. But then came my saving grace. The bosses wife.
Anne was not a lifer (someone who has lived here all their lives or at least moved back to raise their kids) either. This is a very cliquey city. She understood that and took me under her wing and introduced me to her little group. She was probably my first real 'girl friend'. It was great and I couldn't be more grateful. Then she moved. By then I was a member of this group so that was fine, however everyone else's kids were older and once they were in school full time, the group sorta diminished. Anne and I are still in touch though and I plan on visiting her this summer!
Then came Kathy. I actually met her online! We both were members of this mothering website and she asked about this city. Turns out her husband got a job in the same company as my husband! How ironic is that?? I wanted to be what Anne was for me, to her. (did that make sense?) I wanted to help her transition to this city a little easier. I am not sure if I helped all that much, but we did become friends as a result. We were both pregnant with our last children at the same time. But then she moved. LOL So you see a recurring theme here?
After she moved I had a few friends here and there. I had at least one kid still in Preschool so I would mingle with the parents during drop off and pick up. But I didn't really hang with anyone. But then again, I was pretty insanely busy with three girls under the age of 5 at that point. I friend then got me to go with her to a MOPS meeting. Have you heard of MOPS? If not, go here. It is a great organization and came at a perfect time.
I met some great ladies there. Trust me when I say, I would cry like a baby during some of the topics but so did others. Usually it was how lonely I had been. I met Mandy there and we started to have play dates at McPukes. She then brought Meggie, someone else from MOPS, and I got to know her very well. We just clicked. At this time, I was on antidepressants and suffering from PTSD after a hellish health issue. I was seeing a shrink (still am) and a Mental Health Social Worker. I was in bad shape. They saved me.
I can go on and on about them, but it all goes down to Mandy moving, and Meggie moving on. Mandy is a wonderful woman. She credits God when I compliment her attitude. She has a special soul. Meggie. She is also a wonderful woman. She is the one I wrote about before. I truly believe that God sent her to me to help me out of a funk. It still hurts like hell to know that she is now 'there for' someone else and not me but I have to get over myself. Jealousy isn't pretty. Time to move on! It sucks, but I can't depend on someone else to make me happy, I have to make myself happy. That has become my mantra.
Wednesday 14 May 2014
Tuesday 13 May 2014
Welcome!!
Have you ever tried to come up with a blog name and a domain that matches? It isn't that easy! It is as though everyone and their dog have a blog. Ha Ha Ha, I guess so if I am trying this out!
Really, I am just looking for a place to vent. Being a city girl in the Prairies can be a little rough. Making friends is an issue.
I sorta had an ahha moment. Friendship is the same as an relationship with a guy. Do you make the first move? Do you invite her over for coffee? A movie? Great, you are starting a friendship. What if you say the wrong thing? Have radically different parenting skills? You swear like a sailor, what if that offends her? Let's not forget religion, which can be a big deal living in a Bible Belt!
So you have been friends for a while. You invite her family over for meals and our husbands become friends. We do activities together and our kids adore one and other. But then things change.
She starts hanging out with other people, which is great. She has a huge heart, however she starts to cancel plans and putting others a head of you. You put up with it because you cherish your friendship. It goes on for awhile, feeling like you are being ignored. Do you mention something or put up with it. It gets bad enough that you are now resentful with anyone else she chooses instead of you. She asks if there is something wrong. You decide to share your thoughts because you know, or you think you know, she would respect that because of her education. She apologies and says something about taking me for granted because we are so close.
Things get better for a little while, but the same events repeat over and over. You work hard to keep the friendship going but it doesn't look like it will get better. If she were a boyfriend you were dating, you realize you would have dumped her months ago. So now you decide to let her go. It breaks your heart.
So that brings me to today. I'm sad. I am sitting here writing this I front of the TV watching Star Trek reruns. I was supposed to hang out with my friend this afternoon. but she hasn't even responded to a few texts I sent yesterday asking if I offended her. I'm disappointed. But it's okay.
I will end this post with a quote.
"Oh, sometimes I think it is of no use to make friends. They only go out of your life after awhile and leave a hurt that is worse than the emptiness before they came."
L.M. Montgomery
Really, I am just looking for a place to vent. Being a city girl in the Prairies can be a little rough. Making friends is an issue.
I sorta had an ahha moment. Friendship is the same as an relationship with a guy. Do you make the first move? Do you invite her over for coffee? A movie? Great, you are starting a friendship. What if you say the wrong thing? Have radically different parenting skills? You swear like a sailor, what if that offends her? Let's not forget religion, which can be a big deal living in a Bible Belt!
So you have been friends for a while. You invite her family over for meals and our husbands become friends. We do activities together and our kids adore one and other. But then things change.
She starts hanging out with other people, which is great. She has a huge heart, however she starts to cancel plans and putting others a head of you. You put up with it because you cherish your friendship. It goes on for awhile, feeling like you are being ignored. Do you mention something or put up with it. It gets bad enough that you are now resentful with anyone else she chooses instead of you. She asks if there is something wrong. You decide to share your thoughts because you know, or you think you know, she would respect that because of her education. She apologies and says something about taking me for granted because we are so close.
Things get better for a little while, but the same events repeat over and over. You work hard to keep the friendship going but it doesn't look like it will get better. If she were a boyfriend you were dating, you realize you would have dumped her months ago. So now you decide to let her go. It breaks your heart.
So that brings me to today. I'm sad. I am sitting here writing this I front of the TV watching Star Trek reruns. I was supposed to hang out with my friend this afternoon. but she hasn't even responded to a few texts I sent yesterday asking if I offended her. I'm disappointed. But it's okay.
I will end this post with a quote.
"Oh, sometimes I think it is of no use to make friends. They only go out of your life after awhile and leave a hurt that is worse than the emptiness before they came."
L.M. Montgomery
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